Sex Ed and Santa - The Dichotomy Facing Our Tweens

Do you remember how old you were when you learned about puberty? The birds and the bees? Was your innocence shattered by a parent, a friend, a sibling, or "The Movie" brought to you by our friends at Kotex? I have an older sister so I was in the know earlier than the norm. Much of the information I was told came from her, served with a large helping of disbelief and a side of shock and horror. None of it made sense to my mind that was too young to absorb the facts of life. Too embarrassed to ask my own mother, I went to the next best resource in 4th grade - The World Book Encyclopedia! Contained in its volumes were the words - menstruation and sexual intercourse - I learned from my sister. Paul Rosenkranz and I giggled at the back of Mrs. Vaughey's classroom as we filled our brains with facts that were too bizarre to comprehend. Our only escape from our discomfort was laughter.

Well, here I am many years later, facing this topic with my own 10 year old daughter. The clock is ticking with 7 days until she views "The Movie" with her fifth grade classmates. Last week, I had the parental obligation of previewing this film at her school. It was corny and full of 80's hair and fashion styles, but the information was well presented and factual. The teacher recommended that we brief our kids on the movie beforehand, so there would be no surprises at school (and probably less snickering).  I knew today was the day - my husband was at the gym and my son was at a friend's house. We were alone and there were no "boy" ears to overhear this delicate conversation that was about to take place. So like any good mother, I scooped up spoonfuls of chocolate chip cookie dough and sat down with my daughter to burst her bubble of innocence. She quietly and tearfully listened as I described the pubertal changes that we all must endure. I introduced her to some new terms that will never appear on her vocabulary list for English class. I am fairly confident that I rocked her secure, little world. Overall, I feel it went well and that she actually heard what I was saying. In the past, we have had related discussions, mostly about personal hygiene, friends, and privacy, that laid the groundwork of today's topic.  I know this is just the beginning of a new chapter in her childhood, and there are many more conversations ahead of us, likely with more detail. Until that time comes, I will enjoy this tween phase with my daughter who still believes in Santa, plays with American Girl dolls, and sleeps with her baby blankets.  So as I tucked my baby girl in bed tonight, I realized that this new knowledge does not mean the end of her innocence, just a new awareness of the people and world around her, and that is a good thing.

For years, I have counseled parents about sexuality in children. Teaching a child about sexuality begins at birth through the trust and intimacy they have with their parents. A parent unknowingly models sexuality by having gender-specific roles, clothing they wear, and how they show affection. Toddlers are curious about their bodies. Preschoolers ask "Where do babies come from?", and school-aged children pick up sexual messages from TV and their peers. By nine years of age, most children know something about puberty or may be entering into it themselves. Parents are supposed to guide their children through each stage of this budding sexuality. Teaching sexuality to children is as important as teaching them about a healthy diet. It does not culminate with one conversation when puberty is knocking at the door. Teaching about the physical characteristics of sexuality is such a small part compared to teaching and modeling the emotional aspects of sexuality - family values, respect for others, and having a strong sense of self-worth.  I have found two resources to be invaluable for this topic - "Becoming an Askable Parent" by the American Social Health Association and The American Girl book, "The Care and Keeping of You".  Find them and read them before you think you need to - chances are if you are thinking about it, your child already has been for a long time. As always, your health care provider can also be a great resource. Keep your mind and your ears open and the answers will come your way.

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The Big "O" - Is It All That It Is Cracked Up To Be?

OK people, get your minds off of whatever you think I was implying and onto your grocery list - I am talking organic food here.

A friend of mine recently asked me about organic food and if I thought that it is worth the expense for her children. My immediate response was yes, and I based this answer on my own research of this topic and my knowledge of the basic physiological differences between children and adults. Over the past few years, there has been much controversy surrounding organic foods and I believe the organic movement is gaining momentum, as evidenced by the growing supply at my local stores.  Critics argue that organic food is too expensive and the health benefits are unproven. Proponents claim that the long-term safety of food additives and pesticides is unknown. I partially agree with both sides - going organic can be an expensive endeavor (50% or more cost over non-organic food), but at the same time, I worry about those unnatural food additives and pesticides and the potential harmful effect on growing bodies and brains, not to mention the devastation that conventional farming does to our environment (a topic for another post). Does my level of concern warrant the expense of feeding organic food to children and pregnant women? Absolutely! Science has proven that a fetus develops faster than at any other point in life and that rapidly dividing cells are susceptible to damage from chemicals (think DDT and DES).  Additionally, children between 1 and 5 years of age eat 3-4 times more food per kilogram of body weight than an average adult. This means they ingest 3-4 times the food additives and chemicals per kilogram of body weight and possess immature liver and kidney function to detoxify and excrete contaminants, unlike adults.  A study done in Seattle a few years ago looked at school age kids with 100% of them having pesticides detected in the urine. All students were put on an organic diet and after 4 days of the diet, only 1 child in study had pesticides remaining in the urine. Our bodies are remarkable machines, but our bodies should not be used as filtration factories for food additives and pesticides.

So what does it mean to be organic? Many products tout an organic origin but to truly know what you are buying you need to start reading the labels on your food.  To be Certified Organic, the food must be grown/raised, handled and processed without conventional pesticides or herbicides, synthetic fertilizers, antibiotics, growth hormones, genetic engineering or irradiation - and produced with the emphasis on soil and water conservation. While 100% Organic means the food must contain at least 95% organic ingredients. Any product that uses “Made with Organic Ingredients” on the front label must contain at least 70% organic ingredients. Any food with less than 70% of organic ingredients can claim to be organic but can only be listed on the side panel.  "Free Range" is not organic as it is not standardized and only means that the animal spent some time outside each day.

Like everything in life, we have to weigh the pros and cons and make our decisions based on  information available to us.  I realize that feeding a family a diet of organic food is costly, but health care is even more expensive. I usually make choices for my family based on health consequences before cost. So I choose to feed my children many organic foods but not everything. Oreos are not, nor ever will be, organic, but I am OK with that.   

Milk/Dairy

We drink organic milk because my kids drink a lot of milk. It is free of Recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone (rBGH), which has been used in the US since 1994 to boost milk production by 25%. I personally think that messing with nature's hormone balance in animals is like playing with fire - someone will get burned.  In addition to rBGH, there are antibiotics injected into the cows to keep them (the cows) healthy. My kids are healthy and do not need cow antibiotics. These antibiotics were banned in Europe over a decade ago, and interestly, there has been a decrease in bacterial resistance to important live-saving human antibiotics.  Hmmm...maybe there is a correlation between the higher number of children I see with ear tubes now compared to when I started practicing over 15 years ago. Also down the dairy aisle are eggs, although not technically a dairy product. Organic hens roam free and are fed only grains. They lay organic eggs that are higher in vitamins, Omega-3 fatty acids and have less cholesterol. Non-organic hens are kept in cages smaller than an 8x11 sheet of paper, have their beaks trimmed, and are fed an unnatural diet. Easy choice here!  

Produce

Fruits and vegetables are also a huge part of my kids' intake so we try to get organic as much as possible. We try to buy seasonal fruits from local sources and have grown some great fruit and veggies in our home garden. Nothing is fresher than homegrown - no pesticides used and no pests either - except for the bunnies that nibbled our pepper plants a bit. If homegrown or local sources are not an option then use the lists from The Environmental Working Group to help you decide which produce is better if organic or not.

• "The Dirty Dozen" (Buy organic - highest in pesticides) peaches, apples, sweet bell peppers, celery, nectarines, strawberries, cherries, lettuce, grapes (imported), pears, spinach, and potatoes.
• "The Cleanest 12" (lowest in pesticides) onions, avocados, sweet corn (frozen), pineapples, mangoes, sweet peas (frozen) asparagus, kiwis, bananas, cabbage, broccoli, eggplant. 

Meat/Poultry 

I am not here to argue about vegetarianism. It is a lifestyle that most Americans have not adopted. It is a personal choice. So if you are a vegetarian, please skip this paragraph as I discuss organic meat. First,  I have to say the organic meat and poultry is a little more difficult to find and the selection is  limited. However, organic beef is healthier for our bodies and our environment so I continue my search. Conventionally farmed cattle is fed a steady diet of corn or other grains.  When a cow is fed a corn-filled diet, it alters the acidity in their stomachs causing the overgrowth of the bacteria E.coli O157:H7 which is then treated with antibiotics. This bacteria can make cows sick and has been the culprit in countless meat recalls and illness and deaths in humans, especially children. Cows are grazers by nature, and organic cattle are allowed to roam and feed on grasses, leading to leaner, healthier cows without the use of antibiotics.  It is a similar story for organic farmed chickens.

So as I presented you a little "food for thought", I hope you do a bit of research on your own as you make decisions about feeding your family. I suggest visiting the website of the Environmental Working Group or if you are in the Indianapolis area check out The Baby Squad's "Growing Up Green" class on December 14, 2009. Maybe then, you too, will agree with me and many others that The Big "O" is all that and much more. 

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